Who's in control?

Kids know how much control they have and they know when they can be in charge.  They will take an inch and run with it! That's one reason I think parenting can be sooo exhausting!  You can throw away a lot of work by just letting go of some control for a few hours or a few incidents. So, again, consistency and firmness count.  And if you're thinking of being firm in that nice 'i'm serious voice, but there's no way you can tell because I haven't really changed my tone of voice, just the words' ....approach?  Good luck.  It probably will have no affect, and your kids really won't care about what it is you're saying or it may just confuse them that it sounds like you're being nice or 'playing' when they've done something that you didn't want them to.  I've tried it like society wanted me to, and it doesn't work.   It's the tone of voice that counts, not the volume...and it's not a condescending tone, It's just distinctly different from the I'm happy and everything is great tone-of-voice.  I try and yell only when it's completely necessary..and we all know those situations.  When you follow through with consequences immediately following your child's action, you'll find you don't get angry very often because you are taking real action when it matters (not giving in to those puppy dog looks when it's time for the consequence of undesirable behavior). You'll find you don't end up feeling angry and resentful because your kids are walking all over you. Instead, you'll feel a sense of respect and accomplishment!  You'll feel like their leader, and not a disrespected play-mate who also cooks their dinner and does their laundry!