It's been awhile.

Well, it's been almost a week.  It feels like lots of things have happened and changed at home and work.  I don't have much time, but we bought a wii, which has been pretty fun. Especially since I've been winning our tennis matches.  Work has continued to be chaotic, but some of my working relationships with the preschool teachers have improved.  I am learning more and more all the time.  The chaos makes the days fly by...and the weekends are moving slow.  That is, because of the rain.  Many of the rivers around are nearing flood points.  I'm not sure of the last day we had sun for more than an hour or so.  Lately, it's been a few minutes.  Not today though, no sign of the sun.  It didn't matter though, I was just in the school anyhow.  We did spend a little time outside today though cause it was just drizzling and hovering around 50.  It's supposed to be almost 60 tomorrow, but raining. The rain is supposed to clear out for most of the weekend, however; it will cool down.  Of course, we wouldn't want the sun and enjoyable temperatures.  So, Mickey is imitating more and more words. The latest is 'hug.' :) Our new chicks are really cute.  We hatched them for the lady who is letting us keep our chickens on her farm.  Not much else is new... The girls are excited to see you this weekend, mom.  Madeline keeps telling me we will cross over this troll bridge to get to the airport.  We will make sure to take the cell phone this time.  We will make sure.  It will be easier with the kids at the airport this time, though.  It will be easy.  I will bring the double jogger and just stuff them all in it.  :)  Well, i gotta really pee and then finish cleaning the kitchen.  One more day at work before Spring Break, but I'm afraid I'm already on break.  It will be interesting to see how tomorrow goes.  Tomorrow is Travis's last day home. He will leave early Friday before I wake up.  Then it will be me and the kids Friday and Saturday. Picking up you at the airport on Sunday, then I'm leaving on Monday.  It will be so nice to be back on the East Coast for a little visit..especially knowing we will be moving there more permanently in just a few months!  There are so many things I am looking forward to, and mostly the warm weather.  It will be weird renting a house after having our own here, but it should save a lot of headache for when we go to leave.   Well, better get going! I brought the keyboard into the house the other day and have been looking at some new fugues. I figure it must be good exercise for my brain :)  I think not getting enough rest and leisure time really takes a toll on my memory and I tend to spell things funny and use the wrong words when I'm talking lately..and not even realize it!  oh well.

Alone again

Mick before haircut

Travis is flying tonight. AGAIN.  He has flown 3 nights in the last 10 days.  I just figured that out.  It feels worse then it sounds.  Last night he was flying and I was EXHAUSTED by time I got the kids in bed.  I should be reading and thinking on what I'm going to say tomorrow at parent conferences.  I have about 6 or 7 to be at, and then 3 or 4 phone conferences I guess.  It feels very cold in the house right now.  I wonder what I'll wear tomorrow?  I try to look professional when I meet with parents, but never look professional when I'm not.  Professional, that is..dressed up.  I won't get that dressed up though...it's too uncomfortable, plus, the parents might expect too much out of me.  I always dress according to how much knowledge and feedback I have to share.  Tomorrow I think it will just be a pair of jeans and a presentable shirt.  The last conference I was at I just ended up telling the parent to limit the amount of television her child is watching and questioned whether or not she was doing activities with her child at home that required sustained attention.  She said she was doing activities that required some attention and that she does sit with him and comments on the 'couple hours' of television she previously mentioned that he watches every day.  That was JUST  a couple hours of television he watches each day.  Geez, and it's like all this information is right in our face, but some people just are seeing it.  I was just thinking... "gee, two hours is a long time to watch children's television."  Parenting is tough and nobody is perfect at it, but I would hope to see more effort at least being put forth.  I mean these are people's lives we are shaping and affecting...not a dog or some fish.  That's what I think more people should have..dogs or fish if they want something to take care of...depending on their level of commitment... I see more 'fish' people then dog.

Mick after his haircut

I better get going so I have something constructive to say to these 'fish' people tomorrow. Besides, it's 8:30 and I haven't eaten dinner yet.  The kids haven't made a peep since I put them down though:) I have been a little firmer with the girls lately, and they are fighting with their fists up.  Nothing I can't handle...a little pee on the floor and some yelling.  I guess I would think something was wrong if they didn't respond with a little opposition.  I want them to learn to be respectful to me and each other, but after all, I'd rather them put up a fight and then lose, than have not tried at all.  At least I know they won't be 'run-over' by the first person that tries to tell them what to do...that bossy kid on the playground will probably be the first... Amelia might not understand when they don't care that she's peed her pants and Madeline will probably just knock the kid down.  (not that I will condone that)  haha

Another weekend.  It's Friday.  The girls are surprising me every day with their creative, imaginative play and their funny little observations of life...from their wonderful 2-year-old perspectives.  Amelia shared with us the fact that a swing takes her up into the air the other day as she rode up on Travis's shoulders on our walk.  Over the past few weeks I have seen a change in them.  They are nearing 3 years old now, and I just can't believe it, however; they are helping me step into reality with their newly determined mind-set and their increasingly complex ideas they are coming up with in play.  I can't believe how it seems just the other day that I was washing diapers for 3 babies...thank God I'm not anymore...but it does seem like just the other day.  Well, it has only been just about 6 months..so i'm not all that far off.

Travis and I bought a new game the other night.  We're kinda picky when it comes to board games, but we settled on Battleship the other night for $14.  It was much cheaper than the fancy edition of Scrabble that we picked up last year.  We've played 2 times.  It's 1:1.  I don't normally like to play board games or card games unless I'm winning.   I'm just a bit juvenile that way.  Travis doesn't seem to mind.  He doesn't really like to sit and talk or read about things that interest me.  Russian history and culture, speech and language stuff, or about the lives of composers. It doesn't really appeal to him, and so we play board games...and he lets me win sometimes.  I guess it's a compromise.  He isn't permitted to admit he's letting me win, however.  That would take the fun out of it.  Well, I'm supposed to be looking for a movie for us to watch tonight, so I better go. I think he's coming in soon.  Good night! I had to come back and add one more thing.  I heard the girls talking in their room and Madeline says "I can't see in my room"  Amelia responds " The moon will help you see in your room." Madeline:  " I cannot see in  my room." A: "the moon will help you see."  M: "I need a flashlight." A: "yes, you do.  A flashlight will help you to see."  M: I will help you to see with a flashlight, Amelia." A: "You will help me to see with a flashlight, Madeline!?"  M: "yes, I will."  A: "oh thank you Madeline." M: "your welcome."

2 posts, 1 day.

Travis is flying tonight.  Check ride for night vision, or something like that.  So, it's just me in the silence...well, it was silent. Someone evidently just got an 'ouchie.' Ok. well, it's back to work tomorrow.  It was an odd day because Travis was home half the day and now not home tonight.  I hope tomorrow I am going back to work a little more prepared then when I left last week.  Since having a family and also being a military family, I am noticing that it is not only kids, but myself as well that can appreciate a consistent schedule.  I feel so out of sorts when things are constantly different on the weekends.  Travis is home, then he's not home, then he's home half a day on Monday...etc...So disturbing.  It's not good to have a whole lot of spare time in the house because he doesn't like to stay in the house and there's just never ending work to do at home..so we're just here trying to relax, but we can't.  There's constantly so much work to do that we just go around feeling resentful when one of us is taking a break.  We tend to be rather unforgiving toward one another because we both feel so overworked all the time. Trying to find happiness is difficult when you live in a dreary rainy forest all the time and the options are 'in the house' or 'in town.'

I have eaten dinner tonight already however.  It doesn't feel like almost 9 o'clock.  Perhaps that's because the kids went to bed late.  Probably.  That's because Travis wasn't home.  They would have been to bed on time if he were (or at least close). I either do not hold the same priorities or lack self-discipline.  Not sure. Probably both.  The second is for sure.  Sometimes I wish I could 'trick' myself into having more self-control...self-discipline.  I'd probably be happier.  For example, If i'd just get up about 10 or 15 minutes earlier in the morning, I would not be so rushed, would not be chronically late for work,..and probably be a bit happier because of it.  But I don't. I won't.  I cannot convince myself that it would make me happier.  I guess I just have a fear of being ready before I actually
need to leave the house, and therefor having deprived myself of precious sleep.

Speaking of sleep, I have been falling asleep to a wonderful, new (old) show I found on hulu.  McHale's Navy.  Great show.  I enjoy it at least.  Travis really seems to get a kick of it.  I got some pictures tonight of all three kids playing together.  The girls were thrilled Mickey was willing to hold their hand to play 'ring around the rosies' and run round and round the island in the kitchen. They even went extra slow for him.  Pretty cute.  I guess I ought to get around and get to bed.  I wonder if I have clean clothes for work tomorrow. ? 
 Guess I'll go see.

my opinion or yours?

I was thinking further on my previous blog of character and how one can be a more accurate judge of it.  Why write more on uncertain subjects for me?  I don't know..just because I want to figure out why it seems to be such a big deal.  I've noticed that the confident, successful, knowledgeable individuals of this world could not be further from uncertainty... or at least that's how they convey themselves.  Now I have been fooled by the confident, assuming what they speak of is trustworthy....and have found, (as previously mentioned) more often than not, arrogance and err to be a friend of this unambiguous, confident trait of character.  Now, if I had to ask myself if to contemplate on this thought may possibly violate the laws of contemplation, I would have to say...I don't think so. It may possibly prove to be productive.  This is a situation one must take a chance on, otherwise, one would never know...better to break the rules then to have never found out.  I am very flexible when it comes to following rules.  :)

Anyhow, why does it seem to be such a common theme to 'figure out' the authenticity of one's character?  I hear women doing it ALL the time (partly because I am not in the company of men or their discussions very often).  I believe I hear of it most often, and noticed in myself most often, that people are making judgements of character of those they may find have disturbing personalities working at a dissonance to their own... are particularly unusual for one reason or another, or just tend to be the pushy type.

Now that I've thought a bit further on it, I think it's all a bunch of bularkie.  That is not a real word as far as I know, and so any spelling I've chosen here could stand as correct and/or irrelevant.  I think if I had grown a brain of my own, than 'figuring out' other's character would become most insignificant.  If one could simply see past another's physical appearance, speaking skills, accents, odor (or lack thereof), age, life-experiences, sex, mannerisms, levels of self-confidence and attitude, then it would present as easier to focus on the content of what the person was actually saying.  Outside of that, If I were simply more confident in my own thoughts,  the content of what was being said would not be taken without knowing that any information is just that...information (ideas) presented with the bias of whomever is speaking.  I have made it a personal goal to think more about what people are saying and less about how they are presenting it (not that I keep a list of personal goals for myself).  I will from now on carefully consider what is being said and give my own thought to it.   After all, most discussions are not based on simple facts.  If they were, there would not be much point to having a discussion!  Having a brain of my own and attempting not to immediately form opinions off of other people's information is something I'm going to try. If I can form my own opinions by not assuming information presented to be correct or incorrect, but simply information that may be useful either way... should be a step in the right direction.  It all seems to have a bunch to do with self-confidence.  Gee, the entries lately have sounded a bit like a bunch of psycho-babble...just one subject after another...blah, blah, blah....but nevertheless, somehow useful to me....   

creatures of habit

Well, it’s March 6th.  Time is ticking away until we leave for Va. I am going to take a little nap. I’ve very tired and need to rest before the kids are ready to get up from their nap.  I can still hear them talking.  Please go to sleep.  I had a good time last night at a resturant with friends...We did just talk about work, but it’s always interesting to have a peak into another’s perspective on the ‘same’ experiences.  She is a pretty smart woman and I do enjoy her company.  I like talking to smart, socially adjusted people...but then again, I guess who doesn't?   One of the girls just fell out of bed. be right back. Had a good time at the playground on Post with the kids early this afternoon.  When the sun was out, it felt pretty nice out.  

Later on...As I was preparing our plates for dinner, I glanced at the picture of myself as an infant with my grandfather and I began to think about how not only both of our looks have changed over the last 29 years, but how we are both different people altogether.  We both have changed, though through different parts of our lives. It brought on a sad feeling to think of how my grandmother is no longer here with us as I looked at a an Easter decoration hung on the kitchen wall behind us knowing that it was most likely her, who had hung it there.  It then got me thinking about change and how it is just the essence of life and how it prepares us for that next part of our life journey.  I then began to wonder why, if change seems to be the essence of life,  we are such creatures of habit?  I suppose that the sort of 'habit' I am thinking of has nothing to do with the sort of change I am referring to.  

Perhaps we are creatures of habit only because if we were constantly adjusting to changes in our daily routine, we would not have the attention or focus to dedicate to higher -level thinking...Enough on change and habit.  


I was reading this great article: read it if you're interested in child development...copy and paste address Mom. 


http://www.newsweek.com/2008/06/03/is-ef-the-new-iq.html


Well, after so much time reading articles this evening, it's time to relax a little and hit the hay. :) 

a process

On my drives to and from work over the last couple days I have begun to think about 'processes' we go through in life.  This is certainly not the first time I have thought of different learning processes one may go through, but I had been thinking in particular about the process of learning  how to function in a new position at work.  The reason for this particular contemplation was on account of the fact that I have someone who has graciously attempted to 'help' me through my new position at work, as she has already played this particular role.  I am not about to criticize or praise this particular person's actions, however; I would have much to say if I were to do that. ha...that's why it's best if I don't. Besides, it would break the rules of contemplation as it would not prove to be productive. So, what I decided is that...her incessant advice from before I started until now, half-way through the job has proved to be disturbing NOT necessarily because her advice was not all accurate or inaccurate, but because what she does not realize is that a smart person is not going to do something because someone else tells them to do it a certain way because they have already done it.  That would be like asking someone to do something without any thought, which I think only a stupid person would do.  Obviously, if we all went around doing things as other people had done it JUST because they had found their way to be effective for them, we'd all be doing our jobs, raising our kids, cleaning our houses, anything we did, because someone else thought it was a good idea.  The fact of the matter is that we all need to figure out what works best the way we see it. That's the only way that new ideas surface, creative thought and whatever else takes place.  So, the next time you give someone advice because 'you've already done it,'  think about how people need to work through a 'process' or idea on their own...otherwise, it will would not be their unique accomplishment, (which will inevitably be different from your exact ideas)  and maybe even better for them or whoever else might be involved in that new, present situation (which will also inevitably be at least slightly different from the situation you had previously worked through).  I then realized that all learning 'processes' we go through in life are unique and certainly not meaningless just because someone had already 'figure it all out.'  There is no such thing as 'figured all out.'  We can all only figure out things for ourselves and then they are meaningful for different reasons to each one of us. I often feel unmotivated to carry out an idea or 'project' because I think of how many people have already done it...and it appears to be meaningless to me, but now, I believe I have come to realize that my thoughts on that were not accurate...that is really wonderful.

The picture posted is one that Travis's Dad sent me.  He knows I like the pictures of his calves.