I tend to contemplate far too much.  One thing about being a woman that I just despise.  Most of the time I wish I could think far less. At least about most things. For example, thinking/contemplating or guessing on subjects or issues that will become no better (or necessarily worse) as a result of my contemplation.  Yet, fully knowing this, I preserver. Why? I think perhaps because I have not contemplated the issue of why I continue to preserver.  It must be true.  I'm doomed.

Contemplating should be highly restricted to subjects worthy of contemplation.  How does one determine this to begin with?  I'll take a shot at that.  First, one must determine whether or not the contemplation brings pleasant thoughts and productivity.  Next, one must be in the position to contemplate. Contemplation is not desirable at work, during meals, household tasks or anything that requires a timely completion.

 I'm not quite yet sure of what I will write about in this journal, but it will be great to be writing everyday..or almost everyday.  Ugh, there my indecisiveness goes showing up again.  Even though it may appear as though someone who is indecisive may have no plan..., really I do.  It's just silently brewing in my head, without my even knowing it, than out of the silence, the plan will reveal itself from beginning to end.  Or, at least the beginning will surface.

There are not many things I do because I want to of lately...and so I am keeping this journal, carving a bit of time out of my evening..just to write.  Something about myself to start off...

I work as a part-time speech therapist with preschoolers in a public school. I met my husband online about 4 years ago. He is a helicopter pilot for the army and (as is evident) we now have three children under the age of three.  Life right now is absorbed with childcare...needless to say.  It's fantastic being a mother sometimes, just like it's fantastic not being a mother sometimes.  As often is true in life, things have not turned out exactly how I had planned...but it is good, and so far on my short journey through my marriage and motherhood, I have learned some surprising things about myself and the art of raising kids.  Since I do enjoy writing and talking almost as much as anything else, this seemed like an appropriate hobby.  As a matter of fact, I thought it might cut down on the amount of talking I do with myself. It isn't the most desirable trait after all, especially if it is such a habit that from time to time it occurs in the company of others...which of course has never happened to me.